About this traveller

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London, United Kingdom
Follower of Jesus. Husband. Father. Son. Poet. Writer. Preacher. Story-teller. Learner. Pilgrim.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Abuse: Secrets

Have you ever had to keep a secret? If you are anything like me you probably want to tell the world. A secret can be a lot of fun – like a surprise birthday party. How do we handle secrets that are not nice? Bad secrets are the ones that we really want to tell someone, but for some reason we find we cannot. Robert is 37 and he has a secret.

Robert was at his grandparent’s house for the weekend. His family also were there and he had got bored with the adults talking so he began to explore the house. He looked in every room. He looked at every picture. He looked in every corner. After a few hours he found himself at the entrance to the attic room. He entered and began to rummage around. A few minutes later he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Robert hid behind a wooden box. His grandfather entered the room and closed the door. Robert sheepishly came out from behind the box, while apologising quietly for being there. His Grandfather reassured him that it was okay and that he wouldn’t tell Robert’s parents, but Robert would need to do something in return. Ten minutes later Robert was in the garden. Tears flooded his eyes as he tried to forget the secret. Robert had a secret and he would never tell.

It has been estimated that one in every four girls and one in every ten boys are sexually abused before the age of eighteen. There are many adults today who have carried childhood secrets about abuse into adult life. Often we feel ashamed or guilty about what we have experienced. Often we think no-one will understand, or even believe us. Secrets like Robert’s ought to be broken. It took me a very long time to tell my parents what I’d been through, but I remember the relief I felt when I’d told my secret. It was my first step towards healing and restoration.

If you have a secret like Robert’s that is causing you pain and stealing your enjoyment of life please talk to someone today. Chat with a friend or phone your Church leader and arrange to discus it. You could call the Churches’ Child Protection Advisory Service for a confidential chat. Whatever you do, let the secret out.

Please allow me to pray with you now.

Loving God, please help all of us to openly talk about the things that have happened in secret. Thank you that nothing is hidden from your eyes and you understand everything perfectly. Help us to take whatever steps we need to take to walk in freedom. In Jesus’ name Amen.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Abuse: The Storm

A few years ago I wrote some devotions on the subject of abuse. I thought I'd post them here this week.


The rain lashed down as I sat at the window gazing out into the storm that surrounded the house. I curled up tight as I blankly looked out into the night. Would this storm ever cease? Would the sun ever rise? At ten years old I could see only storms.

Every day I feared what would happen after school. We’d go to our friend’s house till Mum got home. For four years I was subjected to various forms of physical and emotional abuse in that house. Although I managed to smile on the outside, on the inside I had already died.

Now I am eighteen. Recently, God touched my heart with his love. It was amazing – Imagine walking around in the dark for many years and then one day someone came along and turned the light on. That’s exactly what God did for me. I went to Church and a Pastor prayed for me. As he prayed God just flooded my heart with pure divine love. The hardness I’d built up and my resistance to love was broken down as God swept through me in the most gentle and loving way possible.

That night the storm began to disappear. I devoted my life to God that night and change began to happen. As I read my Bible and spent time with God in prayer I was quickly touched by God about letting go of the past and looking forward to the future. At that time it was like standing at the edge of a cliff and being told to jump off. I was terrified of moving forward, yet because I trusted God, I decided to take a step of faith and face up to the pain of my past. So I jumped.

Now I am thirty. As I sit at the computer writing this devotional my heart is overwhelmed by how much God has done for me. Having taken a step of faith to face up to the abuse I endured I can say today that my life is filled with hope and joy as God has brought healing to my wounded soul.

What is your step of faith? Some of us may need to begin by putting our trust in God. For some, we may need to talk to someone about our experiences. For others it may be the step of releasing forgiveness. Whatever steps you need to take we can ask God to guide us through the storm. Let us pray together.

Loving God, whatever storms of life we face help us face them with you. Where our lives feel dark, turn on the lights and reveal the path we must walk towards healing and hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Friday, August 15, 2008

The next 5 days

Over the next 5 days I will be posting some devotions on the subject of abuse. These may raise questions or concerns in your mind, or even cause painful past memories to surface. If so, please speak tov someone about them. You can email me via my profile, or you may wish to speak to your Church leader.

The devotions will be as follows:
1. The Storm
2. Secrets
3. Fear
4. Why?
5 Broken Vessels

May God bless and restore us as we read and pray

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Poem: My heart lies broken

My heart lies broken.
No one sees it.
No one hears its irregular beating.

My swollen heart beats.
Inflamed with love.
No one understands its way of feeling.

Love has blinded me.
I can see it.
I can feel the pain love causes me.

You cannot perceive.
You are unable to penetrate my heart
And see the undetectable beatings
my heart has taken for you;
my heart is broken for you.
O that you could enter into my heart;
be part of my soul!

Then you would comprehend my thoughts for you.
Then you would realize my love for you.
Then you would understand me.

I am my love for you my body was broken.

A homeless dream

I was out doing my shopping. I feel ill-dressed when out in Harrogate so I was a little surprised to see a homeless bloke on the pavement. Was he trying to sleep? Could he sleep and dream as I do?

Just sitting there with his sleeping-bag keeping his legs warm.

Just sitting. Not begging. Just sitting, staring into space. Maybe daydreaming.

What are his dreams? What does he want in life?

Perhaps just a warm place with simple home-made food - the type of food that's cooked with love.

He looked tired. I mean real tired. The bags on his eyes had bags on them.

I walked past him six or seven times and my heart...

...it just broke as I imagined that I was in his place.

How on earth do you dream of a brighter future when the world is walking past you, not even daring to make eye contact with you?

This question filled my head and spun around till I had to walk past again just so I could give the man a friendly smile.

So I walked. And I smiled. In return I saw the purest smile in the whole town.

I began to dream that this guy would find God's love - That he would find it in our smiles and in our generosity. That he would find it in our actions and our attitude as we stop to say 'what can I do for you?'

God had dreams for me and they are my reality now - some of them anyway. I want to follow God's example to see His dreams come true for all of us who sometimes find it hard to dream because life gives us hard knocks - today's hard knock may lead to opportunity knocking tomorrow.

May you be blessed by dreaming for those who cannot dream.

Book: You see bones, I see an army (Floyd McClung)


Floyd McClung is a total dude! If you haven'y read anything of his then read "The father heart of God"


If you've read that then get your mind stuck into "You see bones". Floyd calls us to imagine chuirch in a new way - simple, organic and rising up! What he says is also being written about by many others, but what makes this a great book is it's passion, simplicity and Floyd's ministry experiences that inform his writing and his ecclesiology.

A great bonus in this book id Floyd's understanding of apastolic ministry. the role of 'apostle' has long been shrouded, clouded and ousted - Floyd shows us a proper place of apostolic ministry for the 21st century.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Book: God On Mute (Pete Grieg)

I thought it was about time I started recommended some books - so here's the first:

I'm a huge fan of all the 24-7 prayer stuff, and this book is a warmly welcomed addition to their writings on the subject of prayer. It's refreshing to read a book with wit, warmth, honesty, vulnerability and sound theology within it's pages. Grieg manages to encourage us about the hard aspects of prayer, drawing on the example of Jesus' praying, as well as from personal testimony to ground it in today's reality.

I've read a few books on prayer and I'd rate it as one of the best.

Missional Distinctives

The following are five biblical distinctives form the foundation of a missional perspective:[6]

1. The Church is sent by Jesus Christ (John 17:18; 20:21, Luke 9:2; Matt 28: 19–20;Acts 1:8)
2. The Church is sent with the Cross (1 Cor 1:18, Eph 2:16, Col 2:14, 1 Pet2:24, 2 Cor 5:17–24)
3. The Church is sent in Community (Acts 2:42–47; 5:42; John 13:34–35; 1 John 3:16–17)
4. The Church is sent to every Culture (John 1:14; Matt 20:28; Acts 17:22–34; Luke 5:29)
5. The Church is sent for the King and His Kingdom (Matt 10:7; 25:34; Luke 4:43; Rev 11:15–17; Jer 10:7; John 18:36)

(Cited from: Dave DeVries, Missional Transformation: Fueling Missionary Movements that Transform America, Bakke Graduate University, 2007, 8-12)

loneliness

It's 2am. My kids are asleep and my wife has gone to Soul Survivor festival for the week. I can't sleep. Maybe I've been married long enough to need Jenna here with me all the time. i miss her.

It's strange how we can feel lonely when living in a community - London has about 12 million people in it (I think!) yet here I am feeling lonely after only 2 days!! I lie here and imagine how the lost, the least and the last must feel almost 24/7!! I realise that I am fortunate to feel lonely like this only once in a blue moon.

So to all those of you who feel lonely, may God bless you with authentic community, friends and The Divine Presence of God.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Persevere in Prayer

Luke 11:9-13 (New Living Translation)

9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

11 “You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? 12 Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! 13 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

These verses come in the context of Jesus teaching on prayer. Jesus moves from teaching us how to pray into encouraging us to keep on praying. He tells us:

Keep on asking!
Keep on seeking!
Keep on knocking!

Keep on keeping on - don't stop. Pray without ceasing.

How often do we stop seeking God because the answers don't arrive within our designated time-frame? - too often. Giving up in prayer has become our habit!
Perhaps this is why Jesus encourages us to persevere.

Jesus (the Son) then discloses vital information about the character of God (the Father). Jesus knows what he's talking about because his whole life is in dee intimacy with the father. He tells us that God desires to give to us even more than other fathers - even an evil father will give to their kids. Interesting that Jesus refers to 'evil fathers' - perhaps he's aware that we have created mental barriers in our minds towards God because of our hurts and disappointments. Jesus knows that we have each resented God, questioned God and doubted who he is - we have at times thought of him as 'evil', mean and harsh.

Yet Jesus shows us a different Father - a Father who will give if we keep on asking. A father we will find when we seek (cf, the lost son - luke 15). A Father who will open doors when we keep on knocking. A Father who will give us his very own Holy Spirit if we ask.

Are we asking, seeking and knocking to the Holy Spirit's presence and power in our lives?
How ardent is our desire for God's presence in our lives?
Where do we need to fix our relationship with God so that we can come to him as loving Father?
Will we persever in our talking with God until we see answers come down?

“And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened"

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Our reality as a painful place

Tonight I feel I want to write but don't know where it's heading. I have 5 minutes and that's not much time, so time is wasting with this pre-amble.

I sometimes wonder where faith is taking me: I know that ultimately it's eterniy with God and that will be awesome. Moving from one place to the next leaves a hole in us where we are missing places and people. The emotional and psychological attachments that we have to them can be strong, and we often underestimate them.

Having said this, sometimes we need to go. Our feet move and our stuff moves with us, but our hearts are torn. Sometimes this tearing of the heart-strings is painful and it's not easy to bear that pain. Yet in following what we sense God leading us into we (at times) will experience pain. Our telling of God's story and our response in faith often denies the pain we feel. I feel that this is a shame because I know from experience that God meets us in our pain.

So what am I saying. I guess I'm trying to encourage you to take your pain - your torn heart - to Jesus' feet. Pour out your tears to him if you have to (wash his feet with your tears) - I'm sure that Jesus said that is a beautiful thing. "Religious" christians may reject us as weak and unfaithful, but Jesus will never turn us away - he's looking for our lives to be given to him in complete reality - even when our reality is a painful place.

Monday, July 14, 2008

all change to missional living

Well we've moved. Following Jesus isn't always settled - it is active and that activity can take us into new situations. we find ourselves in London after a whirlwind few months. The tornado landed us in Stanmore and there's no way back to Kansis for this dorothy!!

We've now begun a new job, have a new house, new neighbours, and the kids will start a new school (or preschool). New things can be difficult, there's no doubt about it, but on the other hand new situations present us with new opportunities to live out our faith as Jesus has shown us.

My prayer is that the mission of God would be lived out in our lives as we adjust and as we meet new people. May God's kingdom come with us and extend in grace and love towards our neighbours.

Perhaps you too are facing new situations, challenging experiences or meeting new people. Let not your hearts be troubled - perhaps God is working in and through you to broaden your understanding of Missional living.

May we live our lives to the Glory of God as we seek his kingdom come here amongst our neighbours as in heaven.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Missional weblinks

Check out the two new links "Missional Church Network" and "Missional Apologetics" for more on being missional.

Blessings fellow missioners

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

missional missing?

My wife and I have been exploring "organic" and "simple" Church recently. Our experience in Trad structures has not been most positive to be honest. I've been on the journey for 30 years in one way or another (i'm 33 now!) and have been a commited Jesus Follower for 15 of those. I come to a point where I'm wondering if our "christian service' is doing more to oil the Church machinary than to reach the lost with the amazing love of God. I mean it seems like mission is an 'add on' to being Church.

You go into most churches and you see a crappy mission notice board with out of date newsletters and ancient photos (ok, I'm being a bit mean !) and other than that you need to stay alert during the service (that probably lacks transcendence - being mean again!) to hear the passing mention of mission work. Mission happens elsewhere and it's somebody else's calling! It's almost like we've been blinded to God's mission around us.


we have got it all wrong - Jesus' life portrayed in the Gospels was a truly missional life. He ministered everywhere. He listened to people and to God and lived a life that connected the two together. That's being missional in my estimation.

we've got so caught up in trying to keep Church going that we've stopped going into our world and being Jesus to our neighbours. Is being 'missional' part of our life.

Read MARK 10:46-52 (go on, do it now)

Answer these questions in your own mind:
1. Ask God to show you your 'blind spots' in being Missional
2. Ask God to open your eyes and see the world as he sees it
3. Ask God to lead you to the people that you can share the love of Jesus with (in wrds and in works)

May we follow Jesus into the messinesss of people's lives and communities.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Do it


Just preparing for a talk from Matthew 25 where Jesus separates the sheep from the goats. His system of separation was simple:

Those who receive an eternal inheritance from God are those that lived lives of "Just Love" (they lived as Jesus lived - they followed Jesus' way of life).

All others were cast out eternally from God's presence.

The message is simple - if we say we are followers of Jesus we need our lived to follow him too. Saying it is not enough.


We need to Do following Jesus.

"Whatever you did for the least (the marginalised; the poor; the lowly; the loveless; etc) of these you did for me"

Faith without works is dead

Thursday, May 8, 2008

No trouble


Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me

Comfort. We all want to be in this state, yet often we find ourselves in uncomfortable situations. Jesus was aware of this and when his disciples were troubled in heart he advised them with the statement above. As I read the words I'm struck by how obvious they are - Don't let your heart be troubled!

I'm thinking 'like I have a choice'. As I thought about that it struck me that perhaps Jesus was saying we do have a choice. I read it like this:
Don't allow your heart to be troubled - guard your heart from trouble

There are two verses in the bible that say "Guard your heart". One is in proverbs. It says
'guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life'.

Tthe other is in Philippians 4 where Paul tells the Church:
Don't be worried about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which transcends our understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus

Those words are life and beauty to our hearts. As we pray - as we focus on Jesus - God's peace enters our hearts and minds. We guard our hearts from trouble through trusting in Jesus in the place of prayer. Prayer focusses our heart on the solution and takes it off our problems.

God's peace is not a fabrication of our imagination - it is transcendent. Perhaps we need to persevere in praying until God's peace comes to guard our hearts from trouble.

Are we in an uncomfortable situation where troubles are welling up like storms around and within us?

Then let us pray...

Tuesday, April 29, 2008



After scribbling a few lines on worship I saw again this image. I don't know about you, but I often find myself 'begging' God for change (normally in myself!). I'm longing to see more of God's kingdom come into our daily reality. We can ask God for the obvious stuff (health, stuff, blessing, etc.), or we can pray as Christ taught us ("your kingdom come..."). When His kingdom comes it will mean 'change' but perhaps not in the obvious (and selfish) things we're regularly asking for.

Perhaps we will need to be the change. Perhaps this 'come-coming-not yet' kingdom will show us our need to be follwers of Jesus that love God wholeheartedly (with no regard for ourselves, but rather for God's agenda) and love others (viewing ourselves less highly than we ought and seeing others as highly as we should).

So we pray, let your Kingdom come...your will be done on earth as in heaven...

A Delirious breakfast

I was breakfasting with the kids this morning and we're listening to "The Mission Bell" album. my son is playing air guitar, I'm singing like an idiot, and my daughter is doing some sort of weird expressive dance (she's only 18 months old and doesn't know any better!).
I then began playing air guitar. My son (who's 3) stops playing, looks me straight in the eye and says, "What you doing Dad! I say I'm playing the guitar and he (very seriously) says "you can't do that, you're the singer!!"

I began singing again. It's great that our worship can occur at any time. Have a great day!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

dark roads

sometimes the road ahead is scary and dark.

During these times we need to trust God's word to light up the path - so right now I'm trusting in his word.

He knows the beginning from the end and I'm convinced that in the end...

...it all works out

even dark roads have lamp posts

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

sent - to die

Happy Easter!!

Easter reminds me that Jesus died for me personally. The question is "can we die to ourselves?" and live for him. It means laying down our dreams, ambitions and agendas.

Easter reminds me that in death there is new life - In laying down our stuff we give God the space and permission to breathe his life into our dry bones - we find that life means so much more with Jesus in control than it did when we were trying to do our own thing.

May we die to ourselves and be alive to Christ and our world as we reflect on the cross this Easter.